Pulling Out of the Ashes

This cloud is smoke from a nearby wildfire. Fortunately for me the wind has shifted and it’s easier to breathe. I only pray that the wind will somehow bless the firefighters also.

It may be that you’ve noticed I haven’t blogged for a while. I haven’t been extremely busy, but I have had a difficult time pulling myself out of a slump that seemed to hit after coming home from Israel.

To say I’ve been a hot mess would be overstating. I’ve been more like a melted puddle of ice-cream left sitting overnight on the counter. It’s as though all my mojo just ran away. The terrible wildfires near my city and resulting smoke have definitely contributed to my funk. Not being able to go outside and exercise has been devastating for my outlook, and I have found myself irritable, antisocial, and angry. Oh what a mess. I’ve also missed the sun on a pretty desperate level.

Anyway, a couple of days ago I finally got the nerve to call a new counselor and schedule an appointment.

I cannot believe how much mental effort that took to do, along with almost a superhuman level of courage. If you have ever had to make yourself brave enough to make a call like that, you know what I mean.

I was raised with a work-hard and deal-with-it kind of mentality, and I am used to pushing myself to achieve my goals. Up until recently this has served me pretty well in life to keep me moving forward, but lately I have been stuck, and not able to motivate myself to do anything. I’ve been plowing through clean billionaire romance novels on Kindle Unlimited and just trying to ignore the smoke in the air and forget about everything else. It ain’t pretty, folks.

My appointment was today and the counselor gave me some good things to think about. Obviously I have some work and pondering to do still, that’s to be expected. But the best thing I came away with from my visit today was a sense of hope that he can help me rediscover my sense of purpose and satisfaction in life.

I hope this post doesn’t serve to be a downer for people – I know it’s not a very sunshine and roses kind of post. But above everything else, I try to be real here. I’m generally a happy and content person, but I can tell that for this situation I will need some help to boost out of it, and I try, above all else on this blog, to be honest and keep it in Realville.

If you are struggling with similar problems, please have the courage to make a call and ask for help. There is hope for overcoming deep slumps in life, and there are good people who can help you. 💕

My counselor gave me this Bible verse to think about today.

6 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

Romans 8:6

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/rom/8?verse=6&lang=eng#p6

I’m not going to parse it out here and now. I’m just chewing on it and thinking about how it might apply to me.

4 comments

  1. I was stuck indoors from last Friday to Monday, and the air was finally clean on Tuesday. When I’m cooped up, I get irritable, overly emotional, and very anxious. On Tuesday, I went to the Provo Cemetery, and I immediately felt such relief and calm, and my mind felt free and open. So I understand the need for outdoors and exercise! I’m really glad you could get help, and I’m so grateful the air is clean enough for you to get outside!

    Like

    • Me too! The air is bad again today, but I have noticed it’s always better where there are a lot of trees, so the cemetery is a good place to take a walk. I’ll have to try it sometime!

      Like

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