It’s late at night as I write this. Today I was reminded of some friends I love, who I haven’t seen in a long time. It was a moment that made me feel off balance and a little lonely. I’m sure that’s not helped by having Mr Hot Stuff gone to the land of Dim Sum right now, either.
At any rate, I saw a bunch of friends chatting online about a writers conference this weekend that I decided not to attend. (What was I thinking??) It hit me hard that I wouldn’t be seeing them or talking to them, or making memories with them. And that is really sad, I think. Some of these people don’t actually know me in real life, but we interact on Facebook and I feel their kindred spirit-ness. Usually I am too introverted to march up to them and interrupt their conversation that they are having with their actual friends, because I don’t want to come across as stalkerish. But now I’m feeling like I actually do want to go up and tell them, “Hey, you don’t know me really, but I love your Facebook conversations. And also thank you for your kind encouragement.”
Even though part of me feels like I haven’t done enough writing lately to warrant spending more money on workshops, I’m realizing that I NEED the association with writer friends who are actually writing. Because I’m a writer and I get really sick when I’m not writing, but I also can’t do it in a vacuum. If I have to find or create a new writers group to survive I’ll do it. I was in a couple of them, but one meets on the same night I have church work (which I love!) and the other group seems to have disintegrated. There is one other, but they meet on date night, and I have a standing commitment with Mr Hot Stuff then.
Which brings me to the Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers conference next month, that I registered for this morning. Because it is AWESOME!! And I have friends there! And I want to make some more friends and finish my book(s)!
Today I felt a Heavenly love nudge that said, “This part of you is important. I have plans for you, so keep going. Don’t quit. There are wonderful things ahead.” It reminded me of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s talk in October 1999, when he said this:
“Don’t give up, boy. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it—30 years of it now, and still counting. You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”
I spent time reading scripture today also. Alma 1 Nehor the Evil kills Gideon the Good. Take care of the poor. No further comment on this today because I’m a slacker. And tired. It’s past midnight now.