I have been suppressing a spiritual nudge for quite a while now. Okay, it’s stronger than a nudge. You know how God works. He gives you a little shoulder tap that says, “Hey, think about this.” Those shoulder taps are easy to ignore. Then He starts sending other messengers who sometimes say things straight to your face and heart, letting you know clearly what He wants you to do. You can try to ignore these messengers or procrastinate acting on the message, but God will keep getting more and more clear, and the messages will get louder and louder. It’s said that God doesn’t shout. That He speaks with the still, small, voice of the Holy Spirit. I’m here to tell you that it may not be a shout, but when He starts sending messages directly into my email inbox, I know I’d better sit down, listen, and do what I’m told. I’ve had at least two of those emails in the last week, and numerous other moments when the message has been made clear to me.

“Heather, get back to your blog.” “Heather, stop hiding.” “Heather, someone needs you to share the things that you are learning. Now.” “Sit down and write.” “Write your blog and work on your book. This is the work you need to do. Now.”

But I’ve hesitated. I’ve worked on my book, but I’ve been ignoring this blog. If I really show my heart, I might say something that offends or hurts someone. I might not be clear enough. I might not be kind enough. I feel inadequate. I know I’m not perfect, but it’s not really something I want to advertise to the world. What on earth could I possibly have to say that will matter to anyone else? Who in their right mind would want to read about the clutter in my mental closets? Nevertheless, I know through hard experience that happiness never comes from procrastinating God’s promptings. So here I blog.

I have a friend who is currently in chaplain school. She recently shared with me one of the assignments she wrote for her class.  She wrote about Jesus washing the feet of the disciples and how this was considered a menial task. Peter even tried to refuse this service from the Savior, but Jesus reminded Peter that we need to be cleansed by him to better understand how to serve others. My friend helped me remember that I don’t have to be perfect, but I need to be willing to let Him clean and work on me. Sometimes I just want to hide my dirty, sore, callused feet. I can cover my feet by rolling down my pant legs and putting on shoes, but I can’t hide the cracks, calluses, and dirt from God. I am uncomfortable with shoes full of dirt. It gets into the cracks and rubs the skin raw. The thing is, I know I don’t have to let my feet cause discomfort and distract me. They can be made clean, and He can soften them and soothe the sores, and make them so much more comfortable. In this life, I may not always have perfectly clean feet, but I can be willing to let Him work on me and through me. I just have to remember that by letting Jesus serve me, I can better serve others. After all, why would others accept my imperfect service, if I won’t even accept service from the One who serves perfectly?

“If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one  another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who  is sent greater than he who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.”  (John 13: 14 ­ 17)

Here I am, Lord, taking off my shoes. Help me. And please don’t let me cringe when someone else takes off their shoes, too. Help me be adequate to the task.